It's 1:23 pm and I am still in bed and I don't want to get out of it. I have homework to do, and errands to run, but I don't want to do any of it. I have work at 5:30 and that might be the only thing I do today. I think that is so depressing. I woke up at 11:40 today, had some toast, frozen raspberries, and coffee, and watched House. I wish I could just watch tv all the time. It's an alternate universe that's so much more exciting than mine.
It's raining outside, too, and cold, which makes the day that much harder to get started. I just love my bed. If only there was a boy that I loved in here with me, the day would be perfect.
Speaking of boys that I love, I have been texting Hunter about seeing Harry Potter. He suggested that he buy me dinner, we see the midnight showing, and then relax on a bottle of wine afterwards. As much as that was sarcastic, I actually would love to do that and really wish that we could. How long will it take me to get over this boy? It took me a good two years to get over Curtis, so I guess I have another year and a half to go with Hunter. I just keep thinking that I'll spend my whole life regretting that I'm not with him.
At the same time - I know how he thinks, I know that he knows that I still want to be with him. I watched how it was with Grace when we were first together. He had her over one night and slept with her, and he said that she was so happy and thought that they were getting back together, but he just felt bad that he had cheated on me - he wants love in his life, and someone to love, but it's not going to be me. Maybe for a day or a week, but it won't last, because nothing fundamental has changed.
Why isn't he a good guy? Why did life have to be so unfair to him? He is such an amazing person and I want to be with him so badly. Damn this chemistry, this unexplainable feeling.