Some thoughts, in my coffee and banana bread induced sugar high at 3 pm because that's all I've eaten today.
I was walking through campus at GMU today and I noticed three people: two of them were "geeks" talking rather vehemently about some sort of computer video game subject matter. Their voices were raised not because they were angry but because they were excited, and trying to out talk each other (I suppose?). The third person was a girl running up some steps wearing a long denim skirt and a very modest sweater, with very long, plain hair. We all know that stereotype. Homeschooled and very baptist, poor thing.
But, here is why I noticed them, and why I was thinking about them. They are obviously comfortable in their image. They have an identity. They know exactly who to be friends with, exactly how to behave, where to go, what to do, how to talk, what to read, what to do on certain days of the week. They stand out from everyone else because they have an all consuming passion that takes over their lives. The boys have computers and video games. The girl has her church and God and equally conservative family.
I would almost rather be one of those people, than who I am. Because I don't know who I am. I would rather be openly mocked by the majority of society, but have a niche support system, than be aimlessly floating around with no real identity, like I am now.
What is my all consuming passion? I'm not a sorority girl, I'm not an athlete, I'm not an academic, I'm not a conservative evangelical God loving Jesus freak church going whatever you want to call it. Doctor? Lawyer? Artist? Politician, activist ... I mean, I guess I could be a humanitarian, but that seems so vague to me. It's like being a missionary. What the hell do missionaries even do?